Godly Marriage
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Throughout the history of the church there has been constant struggles for those who name the name of Christ to find the fullness of what Christ intended for her bride. Sadly much like the Hebrew children who wondered in the wilderness for 40 years, and finally being allowed to enter the promised land only to find that the rest that they were given was good only as long as they followed in the commands of their God, the church is experiencing the same thing. Just as the Hebrew children departed from the ways of God and found despair and even judgment so it is with the church today.
Our Lord has said "if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will forgive their sin and heal their land." This can only happen when we individually as well as corporately return to prayer and sanctify ourselves unto the Lord by believing unto obedience what He has given in His word. We are to be created in His image, but today far too many have decided to make God in their own image and in doing so have departed from the faith and now we as the professed church are suffering dearly. While this is prophesied in scripture I do not believe that it has to be in any individual life if we will simply return to the things of God as He intended and not make any excuses as to why they cannot be done in this age as in any other.
That said I believe that the number one problem in the church today is in marriages. Marriages that are done in the church but not made in heaven. The stats say that the church has now passed the world in the percent of divorce. This was never to be. There is one reason and one reason only. Today with the increase of counseling you would think that marriage would be on the correct track, but sadly most who do the counseling have fallen to secular reasoning and in doing so have actually made the marriages twice the sons of hell, doomed to fail. I have listened to this modern day false counsel that teaches that if you are married and do not argue and fight you do not have a healthy marriage. I would challenge any counselor to back that up with scripture. While there may be arguments, it comes from carnality, not spirituality. We have departed from the word and it is high time that we return. I want to show what God has said about what a Godly marriage is like. This is not pie in the sky, but the results of two people who are Spirit led and Spirit filled. Nothing will take its place and nothing will compare to it this side of heaven.
Let me point out this. Just because two people remain together and do not divorce does not mean that they have a biblical marriage. Living together in misery or apart in loneness is of little difference, since both point to failure in the obeying of the Lord.
In the book of Ephesians we see a true biblical marriage and what makes it work. In chapter 5 the Spirit says; 18And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, 19speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, 20giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21submitting to one another in the fear of God.
Notice that the Lord tells us what is the evidence of being Spirit filled. It is not speaking in some unknown language (tongue)or shouting and wailing, but speaking to one another in psalms. Psalms are sacred words, not words of discontent. In hymns; hymns are words of praise, not words that destroy. Spiritual songs; Spiritual songs are words that relate to things of the Spirit or things that uplift unto the Lord. And finally making a melody in our heart. This is the only way that we carry out our admonition to the command we have from the Lord to submit to one another and it comes from a heart that is surrendered first to the Lord.
Then we see how we are to submit to one another. 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31"For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." 32This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
First let me says that submission between the husband and wife is not to be the same. Each one has their own command as to how to submit to the other, and both are to submit, but their submission does not have the same parameters. In the submission roles of the husband and the wife they are compared to the relation of the Lord and the church. The Lord is the Husband and the church is the bride. He left His Father to take a bride as the man leaves his parents to take a bride for himself. The Lord in leaving the Father to take a bride done so with the understanding that He would surrender His all to make His bride a glorious church, without spot or wrinkle so that she would be holy and without blemish. To do so He submitted to the death of the cross. He gave up all He had to take this bride. While here on earth the Lord did nothing for Himself, but totally for the church and even today He is still doing all for His bride. So as the Husband of the church has submitted dying to self, so must the husband of the marriage do the same. He gives up his every personal desire of pleasure or self wants for that of his bride.
When men take a bride they are to do so with the understanding that they are giving up all their own desires to make her a glorious bride other wise they need to remain single. The man is no longer to be seeking after his desires and they come in many forms and fashions, Pick up trucks, hunting leases, parties with the guys, gun collections, clothes, and whatever else that men may desire to clothe themselves with to seek pleasure for themselves.
The husband is to be the sacrifice for the wife as the Lord is the sacrifice for the church. In this the husband is submitting to the wife as the Lord submitted to the church. The Lord leads and directs the church by keeping Himself pure and undefiled. He is totally trustworthy and can be followed in all things. The husband is to do the same. This is how He submits. He is to be looked to for the guidance and the path that the marriage is to take. He does not lead the marriage into areas that will be harmful or pose a threat that he cannot overcome. He thinks ahead and examines the what's and ifs of the things he is leading in. He does not get his family in financial needs that makes it necessary for the wife to work outside the house. He is to be the provider and she is to be content with his provisions. Keep in mind that God does not clothe all His children the same and not all families will have the same material pleasures, but we can all have the same peace and joy if we obey. He is careful not to allow the bride to carry the responsibilities that belong to him alone. His life is one that is continually seeking the Fathers will and setting the standards as well as teaching the family what they are. He is to have an unblemished character in honesty and honor. While he is to not be a dictator in character he does have to impose at times some tough love and accept the criticism that may come, yet without retribution, but receive it with love and understanding. He must stand strong and accept all responsibility for any failures without excuses and be willing to seek the Lord daily for his wife and family. His example alone of what it means to be Christ like will be the guiding light that grow,shapes and keeps the family as the unit that the Lord intended.
The wife also has a responsibility; 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
This command is without prejudice. It has nothing to do with ability, but everything to do with position and responsibility. If the wife does not do this the way that the Lord intended then she becomes a stumbling block to the marriage making it impossible for the man to carry out his part in that marriage. A many a women have discouraged the husband so badly that he simply gives up causing a weak marriage or even divorce may be the outcome. She is to submit to her own husband even as unto the Lord. That last part clarifies the type of submission she is to have. We as believers are to submit to the Lord in love and trust. We are not given to question, or grumble, or rebel, but to submit knowing that He alone can lead us through this life into the next. The same is for the wife. Unless she takes this posture the marriage cannot be a biblical marriage.
This does not mean that she cannot discuss issues with her husband, but once she has made her concerns known then she needs to lift her husband to the Lord, not seeking her will but God's will, and seeking that her husband be led so that he can lead the wife in a way that is pleasing to God. She is not to manipulate him in any way, but in all things praise him and encourage him as the one who she looks for to lead and guide the marriage.
When both the husband and the wife truly trust, love and obey the Lord in their separate callings the marriage will be one that is full of love and trust and peace. Then and only then can the generation to follow know how to live their lives in marriage. Both the husband and the wife have duties that are difficult and neither are to cross over to the others. The responsibilities that the Lord has given are given as He wanted and seen fit and nothing can improve on them. If we will trust and obey we will see our land healed and or families brought back to where they should have been all along. It is only when we are willing to accept that the Lord means what He says and says what He means and we apply it without excuse or compromise that we enter into the peace that He offers those who obey Him
Life without Jesus Christ is a hopeless end. Life with Jesus Christ is an endless hope. The choice is ours.
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